Family Guy Presents: Stewie Griffin - The Untold Story
If you’re a fan of the show, you should know exactly what to expect here: rapid-fire gags. It’s a hilarious story from beginning to end. Joke after joke. I was hoping that since it was straight to video and unrated, it would be more tasteless and raunchy, but alas, since this was originally made for TV, you won’t find anything incredibly risqué. They just drop the “F bomb” in it a lot. Oh yeah, and the moron DVD designers have the EDITED version set as the default (!!). Why they would even include a censored version, let alone set it as the default, is beyond me; but make sure you click on “languages” and choose “uncut” the first time you watch. This is basically 3 episodes with an opener and ender. They first created it after the show was cancelled, (Peter is doing his segment about what grinds my gears, when he get’s fired. He shouts “Fuck you, America!” You can tell this was a direct comment to the people of the networks for cancelling the show.) Genius! But overall, the “movie” is freakin’ sweet! I highly recommend it for any Family Guy fan! Great quotes, great stories, great fun! Spend the 20 bucks to get it! It will be well worth it! And of course, the jabs at movies and TV shows. The Ferris Bueller joke at the end of the movie is a riot!!!
Here are a few of the classic quotes you’ll hear and see when you watch it:
Peter Griffin: Save your money, Tucker. This place doesn’t have porn. You know, that really grinds my gears. Where in the bible does it say that a man can’t fire off some knuckle-children in the privacy of his own neighbor’s living room while his neighbor’s at work because I don’t have a DVD player? Well, I don’t know where it says it because the Bible was way too long to read!
Peter Griffin: Kids, your mother and I have decided that we are gonna help you two get out in to dating world.
Lois Griffin: That’s right. Chris, I’m gonna show you how to be an affable, desirable young man who doesn’t smell like the inside of a wool hat.
Chris Griffin: Why you gotta break balls?
Peter Griffin: And Meg when I get through with you, you’re gonna be beating guys off with both hands!
Meg Griffin: This is gonna be so fun!
Peter Griffin: Hey! Zip it! Rule number one: No speaky until the *man* speaky to *you*.
Stewie Griffin: [after Brian walks in on Stewie shaving himself] Umm, feel free to say no to this but… would you mind shaving my coin purse?
Man #1: [Lois and Peter are watching a Sam Adams commercial on TV] I’ll have water, please.
Man #2: I’ll have water too, but with lemon, please.
Man #3: I’ll have a Sam Adams, please
Man #4: It’s 9:30 in the morning!’
Man #1: Don’t you have an outstanding DUI?
Man #3: Yeah, but I gotta get the taste of weed and hooker spit out of my mouth.
Man #4: I’ll have a Sam Adams too.
Sam Adams: Samuel Adams. Always a good decision.
Odo: I’m watching your every move, Quark, so don’t think you can get away with any law-breaking.
Quark Griffin: Yeah, yeah, whatever, man.
Odo: I mean it! You’ll have me to deal with!
Quark Griffin: Ohhhh, I’m really scared.
Odo: I could morph into a giant python and eat you alive.
Quark Griffin: Hey, here’s an idea: why don’t you morph into a guy with something interesting to talk about?
Directed by: Pete Michels and Peter Shin
Rating: Unrated
Starring:
Seth MacFarlane…. Stewie Griffin/Peter Griffin/Brian Griffin/Glen Quagmire/Tom Tucker/Additional Voices (voice)
Alex Borstein….Lois Griffin/Additional Voices (voice)
Mila Kunis….Meg Griffin/Additional Voices (voice)
Seth Green….Chris Griffin/Additional Voices (voice)
Lori Alan….Diane Simmons (voice)