More About Love
Ok, as I said before, today I’m going to take a look at relationships. Attractions of the male and female genders. Now keep in mind this is only my opinion and opinions are like assholes; everyone’s got one! So, without further delay, let’s delve into the psyche of me and find out what I think about LOVE.
I remember my first love. I was in the 2nd grade. Yes, that’s right, the 2nd grade. Her name was Tara. I was in competition with my best friend James over her. Well, her and one other girl. We used to purposely get in trouble so we could get sent inside during recess so we could make out in the loft of Mrs. Thomas’ 2nd grade classroom. We got in trouble during a presentation of Ralph Bashki’s “The Hobbit”. She would kiss my hand, and I would kiss her head. She invited me over for supper one night (we had meatloaf) and we made out in the playhouse in her back yard. (I was well ahead of my hormones and time!!!) But, it came to an end when I gave her up for James. But I pursued many other girls as I grew older. But were any of them really love or the facsimiles that I saw on TV?
Another girl that stole my heart back in the day way Tisha. Man, talk about cute!!! I invited her to dinner with my parents once. We watched “Watership Down” on laser disc at the library together. But, I was once again in competition with a friend. My best friend, Jason. He was a little slow in the head, but a hoot to hang out with! He had an older brother that I looked up to and admired. He taught us to talk to girls and how to make fools of ourselves at an early age. And that’s just what I did. Not just then, but it continued through my life! Girl after girl. Break up after break up. Heartbreak after heartbreak. It got to the point that I……crap. Lost my train of thought…Oh yeah, that I was falling for the first girl that talked to me! I was getting desperate! (Believe me, there were some moments that my desperation went a little too far and a few really bad decisions were made on some of the girls I chose!!!) And, I would let my heart get too attached and thus it would be broken too easily. E and I once dated the same woman. It broke my heart then, but I eventually got over it. Man, that just brought back a funny memory! Remember who I’m talking about? We were living in the maroon apt. together. She played an instrument. Yeah, that’s the one. Hehehe. Oh, yeah, my points.
I guess I’m taking a lot of time here to look back, but it’s my blog and I can if I want to. Besides, some of you are learning more about me than you might have known. I may even confess to a couple things in here, so keep your eyes and ears open! When I was in jr. high, I dated a girl who lived a couple blocks from us. My parents were friends with her parents because both of our dads were on the police force (consequentially, he was in great shape and worked out all time but he died of a heart attack). Anyway, we dated for a couple of months, then she decided she was tired of me and started dating my best friend after a church youth group trip to Kansas City. Well, that was just great.
Speaking of church….you find “love” in the strangest of places. I fell in love with a girl named (Don’t you DARE laugh at this, E!) Heather. I met her at church camp. She was cute, but ditsy as hell. But, she was technically my “first”. We made out behind cabin 3 during a dance one night and felt up my first boob and my first dry sex experience. We actually “dated” for about 8 months and that was at the time, good for me. But she broke my heart and left me for someone else…….DA WELL!
But the one I think I’ll remember the most is the one I lost my virginity to. (You never forget your first). Her name was Jenny. I met her my first year of college. She was working at K-Mart in Fort Dodge and I was on my way to see a movie that night. I stopped in K-Fart for something (I can’t remember what that something was), but I went through her line. We flirted a little, and I left and went to the movie. (Oh yeah, it was Hot Shots Part Deux). I left the movie in a good mood and thought I would go back to K-Fart and see if maybe she was still there. She was and I asked her out. Nervously. She was a local and I didn’t know what chance I would have. She said yes. We went to Burger King for a coke. Then stopped off at the police station because her mother worked there as a dispatcher. Her step dad was on the sheriff’s dept. in the county too. She wanted to run my license plate to check on me. I drove her back to her place and she invited me in to meet her parents. That a little weird, but ok. They were watching a movie and after it was over, they went upstairs to bed. She seduced me and took my virginity that night. We dated for about a month, then broke up and she started dating my roommate. It was ok because I had set them up. But I stayed in contact with her family and even moved in with them for 3 weeks during the last part of school. They are still in my life.
I know people (usually your parents) say, “Date around a while, and get to know someone before you get into anything too serious.” But sometimes that’s just too hard to do! I got married to a woman I wasn’t ready to be married to. And it wouldn’t have mattered if it were her or someone other woman, I was at a point that I just wasn’t ready. I’m ready now, and I have met someone really special. A little psychotic sometimes, but special. We have our arguments and sometimes flat out screaming matches, but there honestly isn’t anyone I’d rather be with! But it makes me wonder, is it going to be worth it in the end? After it’s all said and done, and one of us dies off leaving the other in the world alone, will it be worth the fights, the lovemaking, the dishes, the bills, the financial strain, the diapers, the crying, the laughter, the pain, the cuddling, the late nights out with the friends, the honesty, the trust, and the possible heartache? Well….
Yes. You have one shot on this world. And whether you want to believe that true love only happens once or that you’ve got to love the one you’re with or whatever, making it count is what’s important! Because even if you’re just making memories, when you’re dead and up in heaven or hell, you can still look back on your life up here, pathetic or plain or fun as it was and smile, because you made the best of it as you could! So go and have a little fun. I’m not saying cheat on your wives or husbands or boyfriends or girlfriends, but find someone or have a couple on the side. It’s your life. It’s your decisions. No one can look down on you but you. Be happy.