As we get older
Life is very funny sometimes. We are placed on this planet to grow, learn, raise a family, and get jobs to support those families, get old, and then die. And all along, people are supposed to be impressed with our accomplishments, agree or disagree with things we do, live by certain rules or orders and just go about it day by day as if we’re expecting some big reward at the end. Over the next few days, I’m going to be taking a deeper look into relationships (both friend and the opposite of sexes) and what they mean to me.
Today, I’m starting with friendship. As a child, between the ages of 2 and 4 we’re brought up playing with the kids next door because you’re not allowed to go anywhere else and they are the closest people you can talk to. You might find something in common with them, but mostly you’re just glad to have someone to talk to other than your parents. Then, between the ages of 5 and 10, you get a little wiser on what people are like. Your parents may meet some other couples that have kids about your age and so when they go to visit or hang out and play cards with their friends, you’re dragged along too. Still not quite sure about what to think, but you play together, and things aren’t too bad. Then you start going to school. You’re thrown into a room of complete strangers and are expected to interact. You meet some other kids, find common interests, but you still don’t feel satisfied.
So you continue on through school years, and over that time you meet more and more kids and start to make more and more friends. Until one day you take your brand new Star Wars® Action Figures that you got for Christmas to school and lose a Storm Trooper in the snow. Then, you get depressed. But you have friends and they have other toys that you can play with. Age 8, you start to discover some odd feelings inside that you really can’t explain, but you realize that the girl across the playground has some really nice eyes! Uh-oh.
Then your parents decide to move to a new town. They discuss this option with you and ask you your opinion, but if you’re only at a 3rd grade level, it’s not that important. You get excited to see a Disney® movie on regular TV! So, you’re dragged away from the friends you worked so hard to make and were thrown into hanging out with to begin with only to start anew at a strange place. So, the cycle begins all over again. You start with the kids in your neighborhood, then you go to school and are once again thrown into a room of complete strangers and are expected to “make friends”. You meet one that you really connect with. One you can understand and likewise, they understand you. They might have a couple other friends and you all become a clique.
But then…you move on to high school. The kids you once thought were your friends are now too superficial and stuck up to hang out with you. You meet a few other people, find some common ground, but you’re just not happy.
So let’s throw another carrot in the pot. Your parents decide to send you away for a week to a camp. You really don’t want to go. But camp is a way for parents to get rid of you for a while so they can have some alone time. That’s understandable. Being a parent myself, I can relate. So, here you are, thrown into something else completely new and scary. You don’t know a single person there! But one guy comes up to you, introduces himself and you immediately connect. This guy has been going to camp for a while now and he knows the routine. He knows some of the other people. He knows what’s going on and what to do. You follow him like a lost puppy. By the end of the week, things are great. You’ve made about 40 new friends that don’t judge you or think twice of you and you have made a common bond with all of them. Oh sure, they all say “Hey, we’ll keep in touch afterward” and “I’ll never forget you! I’ll write every week!” And you do for about 2 or 3 weeks after camp is over. Then it’s back to the same old routine. To this day, I only have one friend that I met at camp that I still keep in contact with. I talk to a couple others now and then, but basically the story is the same. What you see in the movies and on TV are totally bogus. It’s what someone’s concept of how they wished their friendships had been or maybe really are but I’ve seen the truth too many times. No one stays close friends until the day you die! People drift apart. People grow up. People get married and start families and find new people with common interests.
But some people don’t. Some people find love, but they can’t find friendship. Some people spend countless nights home alone while their significant other works hard to support the family. And you get so lonely and depressed. There’s nothing on TV but reruns and you want to get out and do something. You miss those people you used to know. You find yourself lost in a quandary of confusion! Is there such a thing as true friendship? Can you really find a person that you have so much in common with (other than your significant other) that you can just call them up and say “Let’s go do something”? Maybe, but so far, I haven’t found them.
The point of this is, friendship is fleeting. People come and go. I’m afraid of getting to close to people, because even if they don’t intend to, you get hurt when they leave. Perhaps this is why I don’t have a lot of friends. Perhaps it’s because I’m a bit odder than some people. Perhaps I’m just getting too old. Life continues on, love continues on, and friends, they are a dime a dozen. So if you’re reading this, and you stop and think about all the friends you’ve made over the course of your life to date, think about what it meant. Think about how you felt. And remember, it’s a big world! There is someone out there who’s just as nutty or brainy or fun as you are!
P-Dub Signing off